Looking Back Gently and Moving Forward with Intention
As the year comes to an end, many of us feel a quiet pressure to look back and somehow make sense of everything that happened. What worked, what didn’t, and what we wish had gone differently. End-of-year reflection often comes with an unspoken expectation that we should arrive at clarity, closure, and a clear plan for what’s next. But real life rarely wraps itself up that neatly. Before thinking about goals or resolutions, it can help to slow down and notice what the year gave you and what it asked of you.
Takalam sat down with Dr. Khalifa Al Meqbaali to have a discussion on the origins and misconceptions of New Year's resolutions.
What this year may have taught you
Every year leaves its mark in different ways. Some lessons arrive loudly through change or disruption, while others show up quietly through repetition or small shifts you only notice later. You might recognize these lessons through moments that shaped you rather than defined you.
You may find yourself thinking about:
• A situation where you had to adapt
• A boundary you learned to set
• A moment that changed how you see yourself
These experiences don’t always turn into clear lessons, but they often influence how you move forward. That shaping still matters.
Why goals can feel uncomfortable or heavy
Discomfort around goals often isn’t about laziness or lack of discipline. It’s about where our ideas around goals come from. Many of us learned about goals in organizational settings where they were designed to measure performance, efficiency, and output. Over time, this industrial way of thinking moved inward, shaping how we relate to our personal lives.
We began to manage ourselves like projects, using language around productivity, targets, and results. But humans don’t grow the way organizations do. Growth happens through relationships, context, timing, and shared experiences, not constant optimization.
It can help to pause and ask yourself:
When I think about goals, do they feel motivating or demanding, and how might my past experiences with work or expectations be shaping that?
Sometimes what blocks progress isn’t effort, but the framework we’re using.
Noticing what drained you and what supported you
Looking back at the year, it can be helpful to notice where your energy went. Some parts of life naturally take more from us, while others help restore balance.
You might reflect on:
• Responsibilities or expectations that felt heavier than they needed to be
• Environments or roles that left you feeling disconnected
• People, habits, or moments that helped you feel steadier or more like yourself
You don’t need to change anything right now. Simply noticing these patterns can already shift how you approach the year ahead. If some experiences still feel unresolved or emotionally heavy, creating space to talk them through can help bring clarity and closure.
If you are in need of support while looking inward, Takalam is providing all readers with a code (NYA15) to get 15% off a session with the counsellor of their choice!
Looking ahead without turning yourself into a project
Planning and direction matter, but direction doesn’t have to mean control. For a human life, goals often work better as a compass rather than a contract. Something that guides you without demanding perfection.
As you think about the year ahead, you might focus less on achievement and more on alignment. Consider:
• What pace feels sustainable for you right now
• What values you want your goals to reflect
• How you want to show up in your relationships, work, and daily life
Starting from this place can make goals feel lighter, more flexible, and more realistic. Goals are rarely achieved alone. Human growth happens in relationship, and the people around us shape what feels possible and supported. Having others who understand or respect your direction can make a real difference.
This support might look like:
• Being around people with similar values
• Sharing your intentions with someone you trust
• Talking things through with friends or family to clarify your thinking
Sometimes simply saying a goal out loud makes it feel more real. Being witnessed in your intentions can strengthen them or gently reshape them in helpful ways.
As the year closes
There’s no deadline for having everything figured out. The new year isn’t a test to pass. It’s simply another chapter. If reflection brings up uncertainty or mixed emotions, that doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re paying attention.
Before moving on, consider this question:
If your goals were shaped less by pressure and more by support, what might change in how you experience the year ahead?
Reflection doesn’t always have to be done alone. For some people, talking things through with someone trained to listen can help bring a sense of closure to the year just passed or clarity and steadiness as a new one begins. Having a neutral space to explore your thoughts, values, and goals can make it easier to move forward with intention rather than pressure.
To support you during this transition, Takalam is offering readers a special discount code to use on counseling sessions. Whether you’re looking to close off the year feeling lighter or to start the next one with a clearer mindset and stronger sense of direction, support is available when you’re ready.
Use the code NYA15 to receive 15% off a session with any counsellor on our app.
You don’t need to have everything figured out to take that step. Sometimes, beginning the conversation is enough.